Here and Now

Monday, 23 February 2009

I can’t believe almost another month has gone by. I started posting an entry back on the 8th of the month, and got totally distracted by the kids, never to return to my train of thought. Thus, here I am again, attempting to culminate my thoughts from the past few weeks with some clarity.

I think I left off last time by saying I was going to focus on sleep and relaxation. Well, I’ve come the realization that to get more sleep, I have to let some things go until the next day, or possibly all together. Sometimes I have to go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink, emails yet to be written, bills yet to be paid, food yet to be prepared or thoughts left to think. It’s that feeling of trying to accomplish all I can in the allotted time (24 hours) that makes everyday sometimes feel like a bit of a marathon. I’m working on the whole “being in the moment” thing. I’m reading Eckhart Tolle’s book, The Power of Now at the moment, and this is keeping me focused on that intention of really being present, because the present moment is really all we have in which to create. We can change the past, and we can’t predict the future, so we can only mold the moment we’re in into something we enjoy and appreciate.

As goes the process of evolution, my dietary journey has found me dabbling more into the world of raw foods this past month. I kind of meld together some raw food philosophies, and some of Dr. Fuhrman’s “Eat to Live” teachings, and that seems to be a good balance for me. My challenge still is some digestive problems, resulting in major bloating every time I eat any reasonable amount of food. It doesn’t seem to matter what the food is (cooked, raw, processed, unprocessed, whatever), though the symptom generally diminishes much quicker when I’ve eaten just raw fruits and vegetables, but it’s still there. Bloating, in itself, isn’t something most people would think is a problem. But, from the time I get up in the morning, feeling fairly normal and like my tummy is its normal state, to later in the afternoon, feeling like I look five months pregnant, can be rather discouraging.

Intuitively, I feel there’s something up with digestion because everything I eat seems to sit in my upper abdomen, rather than lower in the stomach, where one typically feels the sensation of fullness. Something just feels different than it did in the past. But, because before these past four years, I was so overweight and eating terribly, I can really only compare it to my recent experience. So, probably about a year and a half into my health reformation process, something started to feel off with my digestion. I can only theorize as to what might be the issue. I’ve tried most dietary and supplement options. The only thing that really feels good is not eating at all, and that can’t last for long! So, I will eventually find myself a decent primary care physician through our insurance, and at least request to have a few general tests done, to give me some more info to work with. I was scheduled for an endoscopy a couple years ago, but then go pregnant with Zofia and have since deferred it until a time when I’m not pregnant or breastfeeding. So, in the upcoming months, I will make it a priority to do that. I’m not a fan of any of the physicians I’ve seen, so it might be a bit of a wait.

Darren is going to Italy next month, and his opportunity to get away for a bit has got me reflecting on finding something we can do as a little family vacation this summer. I’m well aware that travelling with three kids can end up making even the most luxurious vacation seem less appealing. We’ve been wanting to go back to Vegetarian Summerfest in Johnstown, PA again. We went in 2005 and had a great time. It would be ideal, because it includes lodging, kids activities, lectures, entertainment and all meals. That would mean no cooking for five days! But, unfortunately, the price tag is about $2500 for us all to go, and we just don’t have the funds to register in the next month. We could charge it, but having no credit card debt is such a good feeling, I hate to do it. So, we’ll see. I did happen upon a link to a Raw Spirit Festival in Upper Marlboro, Maryland at the end of August, which looks like fun. We’ve never been down that way, and considering the cost would be minimal, that might be a fun overnight trip. I need something to put on the calendar and look forward to!

So, this past few weeks has not brought any major changes in my routine, but I am happily moving forward, continuing to be open to new ideas and experiences, and just enjoying the moment.