RawFu Challenge - Day 85

Tuesday, 03 November 2009

Once again, balance seems to be more of the challenge than just consuming only raw foods. My biggest obstacle continues to be just juggling everything and accommodating everyone’s different dietary needs. This week we have houseguests. Darren’s parents are down from Canada visiting. Having guests always causes me a little anxiety, as I want people to enjoy themselves while staying with me, but trying to find raw, or actually just vegan, options that everyone will like is often time consuming and expensive. So, I’m learning to let go a bit of worrying about it. I always inform people of our food situation, say they are welcome to try anything I prepare, and let go of any expectation of their experience of it. That approach seems to be working for me.

On Sunday, we hosted a potluck for our vegetarian MeetUp group here at our house. I scheduled it during my in-laws visit, thinking it would fill one meal slot that I didn’t have to worry about. We had a great turnout and lots of food choices. I made raw coleslaw, raw apple cobbler, a pumpkin spice smoothie and baked a gluten-free vegan carrot cake. Darren and I had no problem just having big salads with lots of veggies, the raw slaw and apple cobbler. Even though I’m not eating the other vegan options, I love seeing what people come up with and enjoy hosting the events.

However, having company always throws off my groove a bit. I’m feeling a little digestively sluggish today, and very happy that there’s nothing on the calendar for tomorrow. We’re just going to hang out and maybe take a drive somewhere in the afternoon.

Yesterday, Darren and I had a little raw food victory moment. My mom and her manfriend, Tom, came over to take Darren’s parents out to dinner. They all wanted to go to the Golden Coral, which is a cafeteria style buffet place in town. My mom eats at a buffet almost daily… senior discount… and though it’s just not at all appealing to me, I often feel a sadness that we really don’t share that experience of eating out anymore. It used to be a rather significant part of our bond, I think. But, that’s another reflective moment.

Anyway, with Darren’s parents here, I felt determined for us all to go out together, even if I just ate lettuce, and Joe (allergies) could only have a dry baked potato. Surprisingly, we did okay. I always carry a little bag of sea salt and spices in my purse, so we just made big salads, using a bit of olive oil, and the juice from lemon wedges. They also had melon and grapes, so we ate that. Joe had his dry baked potato, but we actually put olive oil and sea salt and pepper on that and he did fine, eating some melon, too. Flo ate pickles, a little salad, a baked potato with ketchup and canned peaches. So, all in all, could have been worse! I can’t believe the stuff they have at that place, though. Most of it doesn’t even register as anything I’d want to consume anymore, but I imagine it’s not the place to go if you have any control issues with food!

Today, Flo wanted to make spaghetti for her grandparents, so we made gluten-free noodles with marinara and I made a huge salad. Pretty simple. This afternoon, a batch of raw bread I made from sprouted buckwheat groats and hemp, flax, chia and pumpkin seeds was finished dehydrating, and I used up a couple of the butternut squash I had from our produce co-op to make a really yummy raw butternut squash soup in the VitaMix. It was a nice mid-day combo.

Lately, we’ve been asked a lot if we’ll continue to stay 100 percent raw when the challenge ends. My thoughts on that for now are probably not, though I will most likely just keep doing what I’ve been doing for the most part. This is for several reasons:

1. I am responsible for meal preparation for a family, and getting my kids to be 100 percent raw is not a realistic expectation, especially with Joe’s severe allergies. And because Darren and I often eat different things than the kids do, it creates a separateness that is somewhat exhausting. I think I do a pretty good job of finding a mid-way point of incorporating a lot of raw stuff into their diet, while providing lots of healthy whole food vegan options. But, being vegan is also important to me, and I want to be able to teach Flo some basic cooking skills (as well as, raw prep skills), but having a theoretical objection to cooking food would create an awkward dynamic and send mixed messages to her about healthy eating. I don’t want her to see raw foods as a restrictive stressful lifestyle choice, but rather a creative extension of being vegan and health-centered option for her to explore if she wants.
   
2. I have a history of an eating disorder, and anything that is too absolute or restrictive tends to trigger old negative thought patterns and fears. If anything else, my raw food experience has revealed to me the need to focus on behavior patterns and thought processes regarding eating (and everything), rather than just on specific food consumption. I think a strict raw food lifestyle is a definite pathway to improved health and mental clarity. But, I also think striving for raw food perfection can be a detriment to health if it causes social anxiety and stress. Again… it’s all about balance.
   
3. I don’t have a very big support circle of raw food buddies, and I already feel like I’m swimming upstream half the time in many social circles with our lifestyle choices. Many people are interested and curious about veganism and raw foods, but I’m acutely aware that I’m often perceived as a little “out there,” too. Of course, I will continue to try to connect with others with similar interests and enjoy that camaraderie when it avails itself.
   

So, on day 101, I won’t be abandoning my raw food journey. In fact, I will continue to further explore the raw food lifestyle and find the best balance for me right now. If nothing else, my pursuit of better health (both physical and mental) over the past five years has impressed upon me the importance of gradual transitions and openness to change. I think I will spend the last two weeks of our challenge brainstorming some new goals for myself and just being thankful for the freedom of choice I have and options available to me.